7.10.1944 ---7.11.2011 REST IN PEACE MY BEAUTIFUL MUM xxx

Words can not describe the pain i feel !!!

id like to say it was all as it was promised to be
bye the health professionals and that the end was peaceful
but it wasn't and the nurses stuff up will haunt us for the rest
of our life's ...
all i can do now is pray that mum is at peace and with loved ones
and try to focus on all the good things..this date 7.11 is all so my daughters 16 birthday mums first grandaughter so it made for a hard day but she wrote a beautiful poem to read at her servise and im sure erin will let me share with you at some time..
i miss her soooo very much i feel lost with out her here with me

she was so dang brave right to the very end of her journey here

and I'm so proud of her, i love her so much xxx
mum worried about us 4 girls so much and she told me how hard it was going to be losing
her and she was so right it is so dang painful , i feel like life is just not fair
all i can think about is mum i feel so sad !!!
mum had to special boys in her life and i will right about them over the weekend

her 2 little fury friends never left her side they stayed with her right until the end

bless there little hearts and now they comfort me in my time of need :-)

Family

On Friday the 7th Oct my mum turned 67 so we had 2 days of celebrating with family ,friends and food it was a strange time of feelings of sadness that this would be her last birthday here with us yet it was fantastic that everyone came together for her special day , i herd her say it was the best birthday she has ever had :-)

iv been taking lots of photos , talking lots with mum , crying lots with mum , and laughing lots with mum to.

i am trying to come to terms with what is happening , its Sunday night right now mum has been home with me for 3 weeks and she has spent the last 2 nights with my younger sister and will return here in the morning and i have missed her like crazy iv spend the weekend going out of my mind , crying like never before i guess iv had to much time on my hands to think , and i keep thinking if i miss her this much for a weekend what the heck am i going to do when she leaves us ....i know she wont truly leave she will all ways be in our hearts and memories ... but really that just doesn't cut it for me maby I'm selfish but i just wont my mum to be here for ever . what am i going to do when i need her and trust me I'm gonna need her this is all tearing me up in side , oh iv lost loved ones before my brother , dad etc but nothing compares to this this is just heart wrenching !!!



Rexy one of mums cats she has 2 one is a Cornish Rex the other a Devon Rex!!



MY BRAVE MUM

Mum has been unwell for over 12 months and she went to the doctors and went to the doctors and well lets just say they fobbed her off yet didn't mind taking her money , she was in sevear pain and not well at all so i asked her did she wont to move in here with us , and she took us up on that offer so i got strait to it sadly the day after i went to her home town to pack her house up and move her in ,her gp rang to say take her to the hospital they found a mass in her lung so the hospital started there test off and gave her stuff for the pain though there was no beds she was in emergency for 3 days and in that time the doctors told her what was going on with out us kids there so she was on her own then she wonted to tell us all together well lets just say she had to come out in to the waiting room of emergency to tell her children she is not having treatment because the cancer has gone to her brain .. my heart is breaking i just wont to scream but if i do i wont stop ,I'm so stressed tired and heartbroken right now , so for now we are trying to keep mum stress free pain free and we are making memories I'm not sure I'll have time to blog tho i would love to journal about our journey but I'll just see how i go !!