October 16, 2011


On Friday the 7th Oct my mum turned 67 so we had 2 days of celebrating with family ,friends and food it was a strange time of feelings of sadness that this would be her last birthday here with us yet it was fantastic that everyone came together for her special day , i herd her say it was the best birthday she has ever had :-)
iv been taking lots of photos , talking lots with mum , crying lots with mum , and laughing lots with mum to.
i am trying to come to terms with what is happening , its Sunday night right now mum has been home with me for 3 weeks and she has spent the last 2 nights with my younger sister and will return here in the morning and i have missed her like crazy iv spend the weekend going out of my mind , crying like never before i guess iv had to much time on my hands to think , and i keep thinking if i miss her this much for a weekend what the heck am i going to do when she leaves us ....i know she wont truly leave she will all ways be in our hearts and memories ... but really that just doesn't cut it for me maby I'm selfish but i just wont my mum to be here for ever . what am i going to do when i need her and trust me I'm gonna need her this is all tearing me up in side , oh iv lost loved ones before my brother , dad etc but nothing compares to this this is just heart wrenching !!!

Rexy one of mums cats she has 2 one is a Cornish Rex the other a Devon Rex!!


  1. What a precious picture of your mum and her cat. I can't begin to tell you how sad I am for you. I lost my mother when I was 37 and for weeks after she passed away I would catch myself reaching for the phone to call her. You're in my prayers.

  2. Oh I am so sorry you are going through this. I read your comment on Maa's blog. I have been where you are and am still going through it. I posted a comment on Maa's blog if you want to read it.
    All I can add is I am praying for you and take it one day at a time. I know it is hard I still cry.
    We kept my Dad at home till his last breath and I do not regret that. My Mom was diagnosed the same time 4 yrs ago and weighed 80 lbs they told her it was only a matter of time. My Mom still has terminal cancer and is now 130lbs. She said "Dam it I will show them" sorry about the language. I know it is still there waiting to rear it's ugly head and we just take it one day at a time. Crying does help. My point being you are stronger than you think and you can cry if you want to. Take care my prayers are with you. Big Hug B

  3. A belated Happy Birthday to your Mum! It really is wonderful that everyone could get together and celebrate with her.

    I think you are especially bonded to your Mum, I had that special bond with my Dad. It does make their passing harder and knowing ahead of time, seems to make it even harder.

    I have her on my list, so when I open my page, I see the names and prayers get sent first. I hope you don't mind.

    I am happy for you that you do have this extra time together, some don't. Thank you for the update, I appreciate it.


  4. HI Heidi....I am one the try and catch up trail...long weekend!! Whew!

    What a lovely post ...I a so happy for you to have this time to made special memories with your Mom!!
    It will be hard...your Mom is the same age as me..that makes me really think how luck I am at this moment, for at any time something could happen, in fact to any of us!!
    Your Mom looks great....I enjoyed seeing the photo's just precious!!

    ♥ Grace

  5. Heidi, I'm sorry it's taken me some time to get back to you, I've been so busy.
    Happy birthday to you mum and I hope she had a lovely day with her family.
    I'm so so sorry to hear such sad news and I wish I was there to give you a hug and some friendship...to just be there if you wanted to talk. This will be a very hard time for all of you and my heart goes out to you. Please know that my thoughts are with you , especially your mum. She will need all your courage and strength in the next few months. The only piece of advise I can offer, (if you want any of course)is to be open and talk, talk, talk. Make sure your children have lots of time with her.
    Hopefully you will have some support for yourself as well....it's a bugger of a thing to go through for both of you. Hugs Maa xox

  6. Thank you guys for your kind words i have melt downs were i think how am i going to get through this later , thats why i just take one day at a time and cherish it as if it is our last, im scared and terifide at how fast she is going down heal, and as for talking maa we do so much mum can only wisper now but we chat we was up at 3am this morning having a cuppa and chatting she is having trouble sleeping , and they are bringing her a hospital bed here in the morning so that will be better to alevate her up so she can breath a bit better ,the kids are spending a lot of time with her and molly hasn't left her side much im sure she sences something, i see mum have tears roll down her face some times and she said i just sit there and say dam dam dam thats the hardes part she said is leaving her children and granchildren...sitting here now im tearing up again it all just feels like a dream like it carnt be happening ,,,but sadly it is :-(